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Jul. 11th, 2009 @ 09:20 pm Pie.
I should never ever bake pies. They never last over 48 hours. I will eat the entire thing by myself. Without thinking twice. Granted, they're sugar free...but still. This can NOT be healthy.
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Jul. 4th, 2009 @ 10:49 am you know how..
every once and while you feel like you just took a little visit down Rejection Lane?
Yeah, so apparently  i have decided to place my permanent residence there.
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Jun. 28th, 2009 @ 02:37 pm even while i wait.
Current Mood: rejuvenated
ill be running the race.
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Jun. 28th, 2009 @ 03:40 am Well..Wow.
Current Mood: Amazed.
I just...
Wow.
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Jun. 28th, 2009 @ 01:16 am i was about to post
a terrible and furious message about this new girl ive hung out with a couple times.
and how badly she has frustrated me with her silly female games concerning members of the opposite sex.

but then i got home to ksbj.
and a remembrance that God is Lord and He's got it all worked out.
so me getting all flustered and angry at her stupidity and failed attempts to "one-up" me really isnt doing me any good. Nor does it make any sense as in the long run its really not gonna matter anyway.




now i just need to remember not to be so bitter towards her. hahaha...yeahhhh.
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Jun. 25th, 2009 @ 09:07 pm Note to Self:
 Do not read Paige Baker's entrys whilst eating.
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Jun. 23rd, 2009 @ 02:50 pm every sunday before church.

i steal my neighbors Houston Chronicle.
So i can read the funnies.

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Jun. 23rd, 2009 @ 11:00 am mannn.

God was pisssseedddd at Isreal.


I think its really interesting in Isaiah when God is sort of telling everyone how things should be..He says that"
"the wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
and a little child will lead them.
The cow will feed the bear
their young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
The infant will play near the hole of the cobra,
and put his hand into the viper's nest.
They will neither harm nor destroy on all my
holy mountain for the earth will be full of the  knowledge of
the Lord as the waters cover the sea."


So im guessing that this means that ... if the world knew God as well as they knew that they sky was blue...they would have more faith and there would be a million times more peace? ..Or is this literal and not metaphorical?
...lol

(and we freak out when cat and a  dog are friends, hahaha)
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Jun. 21st, 2009 @ 01:22 pm even at my best.


i wanna let go. yet you hold me in your arms. and all i can see is my future in your hands. and all i can feel is how long ever after is. and its all i can do...just to be with you. Just to be with you.


oh i wanna just wish it all...wish it all away....again.





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


 

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Jun. 14th, 2009 @ 09:43 pm And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her cry.
__________________________________________________________.

Those are the cuss words that i would be screaming if i wasn't trying to stay on the right course.
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Jun. 13th, 2009 @ 10:53 am i found an environment where i thrive;

Last night i was the only female that decided to go out.
And i had a BLAST.


Me and the three guys (2 pretty good friends and 1 that i met last night) started off just having a little "jam" session. Two guitars and drumsticks just chilling and singing third eye blind, ect. in a half furnished living room.
Then we leave to go to the show.
Ohhh my goodnesssss.
This show was intense.
Because im with three boys, they pretty much tell me that im getting in the mosh pit, no questions asked. So i do. Hahahah, i got up this morning  feeling like i got hit by a truck. A glorious fun-filled truck.

By the end of the night i think i had gone to second base with about 30 people whose names i didnt know (you know, i would hope that that wasnt on guys' minds when they're moshing, but if there is a girl in the mix it is SO easy to "accidently" feel up on her). I dont even wanna know how much of everyone else's sweat was on me. But getting pushed around in a crazy crowd of people in a dark room that's so loud you cant hear yourself think....haha, that's definitely something else. You cant beat feeling a part of something huge...swaying and jumping and screaming in tune with everyone else..going crazy at the right parts and simultaneously rising your arms and bobbing your head when the music slows. Hahaha AHHHH.

Dropping off the boys after the show was cool, too. Just talking..singing to John Mayer and Train...windows down because we're squeezed into a single cab truck and we all smell like mosh pit. No "wanna come in for awhile", no flirting, no passes...just chill friends enjoying each other.

Annnnddd of course im not even home for 20 mins before the girl drama catches up to me. But my mini vacation from it was nice.
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Jun. 12th, 2009 @ 11:12 am I had so much to post about 30 mins ago.
And now i dont even have the motivation or the anger to post it anymore.


I guess what i'll leave it at is that im glad that my friends have a sober friend who has an apartment they can crash at. Someone to watch them stumble over themselves all night just in case something serious happens.

But at the same time being the only sober one in a group is the most annoying, frustrating, tiring things that ive ever experienced.
Especially when 12:30 turns into 4:00 in the morning and i have to work the next day.

I miss my family.
I miss sober friends.
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Jun. 11th, 2009 @ 10:53 am okay well.
Im about to go to work for the first time in a week.
Annnddd.im uncompfortable in a bra instead of a bathing suit top.
I have jeans on instead of a flowy summer dress or shorts or just bathing suit bottoms.
My hair is down and straightened...and looks terrible because its at that middle stage still...
And my back is peeling and my nose is red with a blister where my brother hit me in the face while it was sunburnt.
So.
I look terrible.
I feel miserable.
And i want to be back on a white beach next to a blue ocean with the sun shining and the breeze smelling of salt.

I went parasailing above the Gulf of Mexico. Rode on a boat going so fast that i literally bounced out of my seat and had to hold on for dear life; laughing insanely with my mom who had just about climbed in my lap. I played football on the beach with my brother, read a good book as the sun set, walked along the coastline pushing my family towards the water and ate an amazing cheeseburger on a deck facing the ocean.

I was gone long enough for my nails to actually grow...an impossible feet if im working everyday.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While i was in Huffman:

--I realized how much some people change and how much some people stay the same.
--I made a small mistake but realized how easily it is for me to walk away from bad situations.
--I saw Chris act towards Brittany in a way that could have been mine. And smiled and politely looked away..not even allowing the jealousy factor to get an edge in. Honestly just hoping that they work out.
--I realized that there only a few people i could just be with for hours...talking, listening, watching...whatever, until whenever. And when that was  interupted by a frantic mother's call at 3:00am, i realized how much i love my independence.
--I can define my relationships with people now. I have to. Chris and I? We're friends. I love him as a friend, nothing more. Nothing less.


I need to get back in tune with God.
If I dont ill start making dumb mistakes that ill regret.

And now i have to go to Blinn with Brittany and Chris.
Who is apparently now planning on moving to Cstat/Bryan to go to school.
Things will be changing soon. Next semester will be interesting.
Speaking of change...my soon-to-be roomie just texted me.
...
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Jun. 3rd, 2009 @ 11:51 am it sort of makes me feel irritated.


to think of how much this song reminds me of myself..and the relationship that i have.

 

BOY:

Hey darling. I hope youre good tonight
And i know you dont feel right when im leaving.
Yeah i want it, but no, i dont need it
Tell me something sweet to get my by
Cuz i cant come back home till they're singing..

If you can wait till i get home---then i swear to you that we can make this last.
If you can wait till i get home---then i swear, come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
and it might be for the best

GIRL:

Hey sweety. I need you here tonight.
And i know that you dont want to be leaving me.
Yeah you want it, but i cant help it..i just feel complete when youre by my side.
But i know you cant come back home till they're singing..

(chorus)

GIRL:

You know you cant give me what i need.
And even though you mean so much to me--i cant wait through everything

BOY:

Is this really happening?
I swear ill never be happy again. And dont you dare say we can just be friends.
Im not some boy that you can sway.

BOTH:

We knew it would happen eventually.
 

 

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Jun. 3rd, 2009 @ 12:46 am sha-la-la-la.
Tags:

Im sort of calm. Awake. And calm.

youre falling asleep on the phone listening to me hum your favorite song
baby with every passing minute im feeling less strong.
im smiling thinking about my voice in youre head, my face in your mind.
baby with every passing moment i hope you know im trying.

indesisive, confusing, complicated, allusive.
this bittersweet infatuation i know is my creation.
but if you just stay breath-taking, ill just keep making this so frustrating.

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May. 27th, 2009 @ 11:46 pm too confuse to even think/write it out.
But you posting this as your default song and the way you're talking to me right now is not helping.
I fell in love with this song the within 15 seconds of hearing it. Look it up. Its amazing.



Hey darling, I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it
Tell me something sweet to get me by
'Cause I can't come back home 'til they're singin'
La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best
Hey sweetie, I need you here tonight
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving
Yeah, you want it but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home 'til they're singin'
La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'
La, la la la, la la la
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best
You know you can't give me what I need
And even though you mean so much to me
I can wait through everything
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually
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May. 21st, 2009 @ 08:06 pm i like this

now you say you want me back
you will hold on, despite my cons,
it seems we're meant to hate it!
Being so dependent.
But it seems we can believe that we're two peas in this pod
we call New York, gets so lonesome.
Are you frightened, by neglection?
Am I who you want to see yourself to be?




I called your line too many times
I'm not obsessed, just impolite
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May. 19th, 2009 @ 09:03 pm right now.
im craving a bath, a good book. a boyfriend, and more food.

instead..i think ill go work out.
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May. 19th, 2009 @ 10:45 am im in an alanis morisette kind of mood today.


So take me as i am.
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man.
Rest assured that when i start to make you nervous and im going to extremes..
tomorrow i will change and today wont mean a thing!

Just when you think you got me figured out the season's already changing.
I think its cool..you do what you do..just dont try to save me.
.
IVE BEEN NUMB, IM REVIVED.
CANT SAY IM NOT ALIVE, AND NO, I WOULDNT WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY.








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May. 19th, 2009 @ 01:21 am a million private entries but this is all i can seem to get out publicly...
I have about a thousand emotions surging through me right now.
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