boomshamegan

I am furious at my computer right now. I have put with WAY too much from it for it to be messing up AGAIN.
It's about to get a foot in its face. Just saying.
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Yesterday I went to a concert for my Music Appreciation class. A older guy with a little boy who was about 5 sat next to me. The dude started talking to me about why I was here and what was my notebook for and what kid of notes was i supposed to be taking. I said the atmosphere and the emotions the pieces evoked. He said "Write that it's hot and crowded and that there was a 40 year old man who wouldn't stop talking to you". This sort of humor continued throughout the concert. Nothing inappropriate, just him making silly comments as i smiled but didn't turn to face him

His kid, however, drew my attention. Not only was this kid adorable and whispered just a little too loudly, but he had a bowl haircut so i was smitten with him from the get-go. He came in with a leaf that by the end of the recital he not only drawn on with a pen, but also started touching to my face as i tried to watch the performers and take notes. (Hahahaha) On a Christmas song about Bethlehem he loudly states that "This song is all about Jesus". My heart melted.
We had a "stick your tongue out" war which resulted in me giving up to take notes on the music and him resulting in getting as close to my face (with his tongue still out) as he could without his dad noticing. Im trying to remain facing the front so as to not encourage this behavior but the entire rest of the row that i was sitting on is turned facing us and smiling.

My favorite part was the end, where the organizer of the recital stands up to make a speech about the importance of music and blahblahblah and then announces that he will be performing the last song. The kid then asks his dad if it's finally over and as the audience quiets down his dad tells him that there is one more song. The kid...loudly...says "One more song? I don't want to hear one more song." and is heard by the entire audience. It was AWESOME. Mainly because he didn't say it whiney, but more matter-of-fact. Haha.

My name is Megan Wood.
I am the daughter of Tina Allright; a beautifiul, smart, slightly paranoid woman who is goofy and wonderful.
I am the daughter of Kenneth Woods; a hard working, fun, and loving man who can always make me laugh and/or roll my eyes.
They would do anything for me, they do everything for me.
I am the sister of one of the strongest teenagers I know; a 14 year old who can and will change the lives of the kids at Hargrave HS.
I am the daughter of the Lord Most High. Who amazes me with His Love, Who deals with my imperfections and pettiness, Who sacrificed everything so that i can be free.
I am the roommate of a girl named Emily; who may be the only person on Earth whose personality is a perfect puzzle piece to mine. Who i can talk to about anything, who i can pray and praise with, who is one of many blessings ive been given.

Tomorrow morning I'll be meeting with an advising counselor at the College of Liberal Arts at TAMU.
Friday I'll be meeting with a surgeon.
In a week I'll be taking a Spanish placement test.
In 3 weeks i'll be with those nearest to my heart.
In a month and a half i'll be sending in my application to TAMU. (Whoop)
In 3 and a half months i'll no longer be a teenager.
-These plans are subjective. God's Will has a tendency to throw all my expectations for a loop.

My soul sings. My soul sings. My soul sings:

HOW I LOVE YOU.

I have been a wreck lately.
I'm finally gaining some of my joy/self/sanity back, though.
I'm currently tyring to rid myself of Plato's Closet.
Blindly trying to find a job in this economy with the holiday season quickly approaching is very stressful.
Combine that with about a thousand other stresses that i really dont care to get into right now...and you get a very depressed/lost/crazy Megan.

I've been really strong in the Lord lately...but i had myself a nice little slip-up this weekend. Not a terrible one, but one that shouldn't have happened, regardless. I was reminded of this by a lovely text this morning...sent last night at around 11:30pm: "Hey make-out friend!! :) What are you doing?!"..............................................................Yeah, i dont think so.

So i went to my gparents house on Sunday to carve pumpkins and have lunch with my family. Its a yearly tradition and im really glad that i made a point to go. It pissed everyone off at the PCloset that i took off, but who cares? While i was there my mom surprised me by taking me to get a frame to accent my certificate from Blinn College that i didnt even know i received. Apparently i have been nominated Who's Who for Blinn. Prettyyyy cool, i have to say. But it made me a little sad. I know i could be doing so much more academically than i am. I could be in organizations, be in a leadership role...but i feel like i dont have the time.                                                                                                                    Another thing that made me a little sad.....i dont really see myself as a mother--maybe ever. With the diabetes comes sooo many freaking complications that i'd much rather adopt or not have kids at all. Or at least thats my overall mindset right now. However, i pushed a 5 year old boy in a swing and listened to him giggle yesterday and it sort of hit a soft spot. I'm good with kids. I love kids. Who knows..who knows..

Again in class today...another reason for a little sadness...a guy did his tribute speech on his great grandfather. He said that his favorite quality of his gpaws was the way he loved his wife. He said that his gpaw was never ashamed to say it, never ashamed to show it. That a month before he passed away he wrote his wife a letter...thanking her for loving him, making him a better man, a better christain.... And as i listened to this guy read this letter i'm so so very envious. I want a christain guy. I want to be loved the way on a christain man can love.

So i guess the conclusion that i've come to after this week...is that im ready to grow up. Grow up academically. Grow up spiritually. Grow up in my relationships.
With that said...here are pictures of the pumpkin i carved on Sunday. (Reminder: Blaire is the name Emily and I gave to our apartment)

I have had another semi-mini-breakdown.

Its really hard to post when you haven't been writing on here for awhile.
But i will try.

Right now, God keeps showing me that He cares about me even when i'm failing. Even when i know i'm not handling his tests and the situations He puts me in correctly.
I am trying, though.

My computer "crashed" two nights ago and I about lost my mind. This was one huge issue in a line of huge issues. But i prayed and layed it all down to the Lord and now my laptop is perfect now.

I'm having major job problems. Major. I'm not sure that i really want to get into all of them right now. Besides, Paige is the only one who would really be able to hear it all. But peace comes in spurts when i allow it to. I just have to constantly remind myself to breathe.

Something silly that "broke my heart" yesterday....there's a guy in my music class..Will..that i've never spoken to but always smiled at and what not. And for some reason i got it in my head that he always made himself available to smile at me, too, or something like that, i dont know. And then I saw end up sitting a few rows away from him at Breakaway.I see him, arms in the air, praising God. This is right after i hear a sermon on how i need to be dating a Godly man, ectectect. And so right then and there there are tears brought to my eyes...i'm sitting here thinking "Thank God!" because earlier this week i was wondering if he was a christain or not. So i make this plan to talk to him but not pursue, ya know, like it should be. But suddenly he's always on the other side of the universe during class and i never get a chance to say anything. This was a week ago. I get frustrated. Yesterday i heard the teacher say his last name so last night i looked him up on Facebook just to scope it out. Yeahhh, he has a girlfriend that he's deeply in love with and has been dating for 17 years and blahblahblah.
The dissapointment and straight up depression that followed this discovery was ridiculous. IVE NEVER SPOKEN TO HIM.
hahaha.

It was more the principle, i guess. I was holding out for a christain guy who seemed to be running at the same pace as me....not dating Jose or going after the hot guy in my speech class who smokes weed. And then he's "taken away" from me...even though he wasn't really mine in the first place, haha. Idk, its hard to explain.

In other news...I love my roommate:                                                                    And i've refound my love for Harrys:
 

                                                   
WHOOP!!                                                                                                        Em's brother's ring dunk.


                                     
Ohhh windstorms.                                                                                    Platos about two (ish) weeks ago.

i called and made an appointment with the TAMU admissions office.
....
i feel like im running out of time to decide what i want to be. where i want to go.

i suppose it makes sense to go to A&M though. i am already here. and i already have a shirt.