boomshamegan

Did I know how to save a life.

Mon, 19 May 2008 02:45:36 GMT

I didnt feel like this one should be joined with the last one.
Idk.
Its weird.

I have so many mixed emotions about graduating.
I want an apartment or condo or something. But I think I need to wake up and realize that I cant afford that and wont be able to for awhile.
I dont want to think about Em leaving right now. Or Paige or just anyone. Im gonna be so totally lost and alone.
Its gonna be bad. Im pretty sure I will cry harder than I ever have right after graduation. Im losing EVERYONE. Im losing EVERYTHING.

Im losing my mind.

One of my strongest friends posted an entry today about how she felt about leaving and what not.
It was kinda soothing to know that someone like her could be straight up freaking out about all of this, too. Someone who has everything planned out--who seems to be know exactly what God is doing in her life and why.. The fact that im semi calmed by this may be royally screwed up but oh well. She'll understand because that's just how she is. I think I look up to her more than anyone else. But im also jealous of her. Which is horrible..because I think thats why I seem to be pushing her away.

Im losing my mind.

The Y is holding my check.
And I have Los Compadres and Zios on Thursday.
And Astros tomorrow.
And I have 40 bucks for gas for 2 weeks.
Idk what to do.
Its not like Ive been blowing money. The last thing I bought was gas.
(im beginning to understand the hopelessness he felt. like nothings going right and idk why)

Im losing my mind.

Watching Pocahontas.

Mon, 05 May 2008 02:11:48 GMT

Because sometimes i get a little too far into adult world.

Gaaalllvvvveeeessstttttooooonnnnnn.

Thu, 01 May 2008 14:33:44 GMT

:]
Happens to be my fave place ever.
And Im going today with some of my fave people.
yesss..

I miss Keyle. Im glad were hanging out.
I love Emily. Shes amazing and i wish we would have become this close a long time ago.
But hey, we can make our memories while we can.
And of course--i love richard. Durr.

WOOOOOOOOO.
Im just mucho excitedo.

P&EM-- Id like to express my disgust.

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:10:51 GMT

At the fact that you two have time to post in the morning before school.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!
DO YOU NOT LIKE SLEEP?!?!

However revolting i find this--I still loveith yall.

Paige--I have a feeling that you and i are about to have another talk.
Which I am semi curious about though thoroughly dreading. :D

I should have won funniest girl.
I crack myself up.

I said i wanna touch the earth.

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:44:39 GMT

I wanna break it in my hands.

And today I realized that I want to see things. I dont mind keeping my roots. I really, really dont. But I want to be able to escape.
I want to see Niagra Falls and the Colorado mountains.
I want to stand next to the cell where Paul wrote scripture.
I want to see and feel and know that God's hand created what im staring at.

And then one day you wake up

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 03:56:15 GMT

And realize....this is your life.

Next week. Is. Pretty much. The last week that I will ever have to do high school work. EVER.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You dont know how happy that makes me. Pretty sure ive already decided that im not doing any work all of next week, either...but hey oh well. The best part is that its parent approved. :] Mom says: "Oh its cool. B's are fine" when i tell her im not doing any more of my work and probably failing the next few tests. ahh. Gotta love her.

Not even gonna complain or even write about prom.
...
Yet.

But ftr...I love my girls.
So.So.So much.

Stealing this from pagina to get my mind off crap.

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:52:13 GMT

Hi, my name is: Megan Nicole. Hi.

but you can call me: Something special if youre part of a select few.

Never in my life have I: Drank an entire alcoholic drink. Touched a drug. Had sex.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: Conner Woods. :] Pero i love that kid.

My high school was: Everything it should be.

When I’m nervous: My stomach feels like this: "blopadksla"

The last song I listened to was: FeFe Dobson-This is my life. First time hearing it. I like it.

If I were to get married right now it would be to: Richard Deluna. ... I have nothing sarcastic to say...which scares me....

My hair is: One of my fave things about myself. Physically.

When I was 4: I didnt have diabetes or prom problems.

Last Christmas: I started dating the first guy ive ever fallen for.

I should be: Who cares.

When I look down I see: A phone that has no new messages.

The happiest recent event was: Finding out Paige and Em will be a part of my prom plans.

By this time next year: Richard will be almost off probation.

My current gripe is: Everything is a gripe with me right now.

I have a hard time dealing with: Anger. Dissapointment.

There’s these girls: Who couldnt possibly understand how glad i am that theyre part of my life. :] ilu pagina y emilia.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: My mom. My dad.

I want to buy: An apartment. New clothes. Richard something really nice.

Where do you plan to visit: No idea. Galveston?

If you spent the night at my house: We'd laugh a lot and watch a movie. You wouldnt get to eat anything good, though.

The world could do without: DISEASE. Jealousy.

Most recent thing(s) I’ve bought myself: 10 bucks of gas. Thats already gone. Blehh.

Most recent thing someone else bought me: 10 bucks of gas. Thats almost gone.

My middle name is: Nicole. And severly pointless.

In the morning: I will give myself a shot of insulin and pray that the day doesnt suck.

Last night I was: Freaking out over Conner's baseball game and wishing Richard felt better.

There’s this boy I know who: In love with me. :]

If I was an animal I’d be: Ripping up stuff with my teeth right now.

A better name for me would be: Crazy woman.

Tomorrow I am: Going to Conner's baseball game. Hanging out with Richard.

Im posting this

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:34:54 GMT

To clarify that im not half as gloomy as i sound in my previous post. Maybe a quater.

But something was said today that kinda pissed me off. About how i apparently use diabetes as an excuse? So im gonna try to explain it a little. So that maybe people will get that its not just that im not allowed to eat a candy bar. Theres so much connected with having diabetes but im gonna try to get down the basics.

Okay. First of all there are two types. Type one is the type that you see drinking orange juice all the time and eating candy and stuff. Theyre body makes too much insulin but doesnt know how to use it.
{Insulin is what breaks down carbs and sugars and converts them into energy}. Type two's body isnt making enough insulin or isnt making insulin at all. This is the type that most people know about--overweight old person. This is because when you get older your metabolism starts failing and stops breaking down carbs and stuff leaving too much sugar. (Thats why i drink like 10 bottles of water a day. To keep my metabolism up.)

But to put it as simply as possible: Type one-low sugar. Type two-high sugar.
I have something in the middle. Sometimes my body makes insulin and it works. Sometimes it makes it and just doesnt know what to do with it. Sometimes it doesnt make it all. Its bi-polar.

Okay--so why is it bad to have too much or too less of insulin? Well if your sugar gets too low its like all the energy is drained out of you. You start shaking and you can barely walk or stand up. You can pass out and go into a coma easily. They fix this by taking shots of man-made insulin that will break down the sugars the right way instead of what your naturnal insulin is doing.

If your sugar gets too high (which is what mine has been doing) it doesnt physically feel as bad, but there is still an effect. You lose energy just like when its low, but its not shakey, its like youre suddenly exhausted and you need to sleep. Inside you feel jittery. Its hard to explain. If it gets too high you can get seriously ill and die. I wont go into the details, but you can start sweating this acid stuff and its just really bad. This can also be fixed with insulin, but you can also take pills that help the insulin you do have work right. Diet and excercise also really really help. (Although even with exercise type 2s barely ever lose weight-which is why its so weird that i lost so much).

Even though they use insulin to fix what theyre body cant do naturally, insulin can have bad effects, too. It can make you jump from high to low and back to high again (which trust me does not feel good). Insulin also makes you hungry all the time. {Which is why i get pissed when i dont get to eat}. Because the effects can be so bad with or without insulin, diabetecs (especially ones who dont have it under control) have to check their blood all the time. Right now i have to check it about 10 times a day. Before and after everything i eat and then some more when its really high or really low to see where i am. My fingers are bruised and sore haha.

Some other random stuff thats connected with diabetes:
--We have really bad blood circulation. Especially in our feet and hands.Which is why mine are almost always cold. Its also why it takes us so long to heal. People have lost a foot because of a scratch. We bruise easier than normal people and the bruises stay for a lot longer. Which is why its really dangerous for anyone with diabetes to have surgery on anything. Cuts, ya know?
--Hormones are connected with diabetes. When my sugar gets high i get in a really bad mood. I snap at everyone and get annoyed really really easily. Its hard to stay happy when its out of control.
--Having type 2 means i cant eat a lot. Surprisingly, a lot of people dont know this. Bread, pasta, and starches all have tons of carbs that turn into sugar. I cant have french fries, potatoes, a lot of bread, or pasta. Concentrated foods are also bad. I cant have a lot of stuff thats healthy for you either like milk, fruit, or some veggies. Yeah. Cereal kills me. Popcorn. Hamburgers. Most fried stuff. Yeahh.

So yeah. Idk. Maybe that helped. Maybe not. Idk.

I know who I want to take me home.

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:32:57 GMT

Okay.
Being that i havent posted in a million years,i have every attention of this post being long, informative, and time consuming. :D
Who cares if no one reads it, i wanna do it.

Lets start with some confessions, hm?

1.I like the new Miley Cyrus song..(*note i didnt know how to spell her last name).
And i hate her ish. Hannah Montannah makes me want to vomit. We listened to her in the car at D-Now. O-m-g.
I was like "AH TEEN POP! SHUT IT UP SHUT IT UP!". I'm sorry, but I kinda like my music to be creative, unique, and not annoying. But yeah. "See You Again". I like it. Even though it has the same exact beat as that i wear my sunglasses at night song.

2. I need to get my life back in order. Quiet times? Yeah, havent had one in a week. (*Note--no one tell me this is bad and that i need to get back on track because theyre so important--i know this, im working on it) I did something today that i normally would have made a point not to. Annndd didnt even really feel that bad about. But my indifference made me see that i need to get back where i should be. So--thats good right?

3. I havent been talking to a lot of my friends. Annd it really hasnt bothered me. Ehh. Like. Emily..nope. Cody...HA. Chris..nope. But i kinda miss Chris. And Paige. Its funny-something will happen and i can just see Paige laughing or smirking or just hearing what her opinion would be on something in my head-hahaha. Since shes not here i just have to like...imagine it. haha.

4. I think i just found out that im not taking any ap tests. hahahahaha. maybe gov. maybe eco. but thats it. hahahaha. which means i officially quit school. :] hee hee. its like. most kids slack off until theyre second semester of senior year and then theyre like "OH CRAP! LIFE IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER! I BETTER START CARING!" And im like..the opposite. "Oh crap. Life is right around the corner and ive worked my butt off for nothing. ha. thats cute."

Im also obsessed with 90s music and Ewan McGregor.

Update on the boy:
Were fine. :] Not annoyed with him yet. Dating over 3 months now. Thhhatt is a record for me.
I love him. He loves me. I love it.

And now.
I have to pee.
So that concludes our Live Journal post, Ladies and Gentlemen.

so yeah.

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:53:55 GMT

I am sick.
In case anyone was wondering.

Swing Swing.

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:22:45 GMT

From the tangles of .. my heart.

{The lights just went off and on and off and on...And then did this pinkish/purpleish tint thingy and went out again..it was insane.}

Life.
Is.
So.
Hard/complicated/wonderful/exciting/repetitive/new/exciting/scary/emotional/crazy/full.

There is so MUCH.
There is so little.

But its worth every second.

Its safe to say.
That.
God.Family.Friends.Richard.
Make life--LIFE.

sour cream and onion chips part 2.

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:54:41 GMT

Schoooolll.

I can not express to you how amazingly gay it is.
I dessppiiisseee ittttt..

Whyy is it such a big deal that I park not in the student parking lot? It's not like I'm taking up anybody elses parking spot or blocking anything. Urghhh. And whyyyy do teacher's who see me do it feel the need to snitch on me to the principals? Like-it-even-matters.

And the nose ring thing? Makes me want to hit someone. It is not distracting. If I stood up on one of Perry's lab tables and sang Queen songs--that would be distracting. Oh wait. Perry has done that. Same thing goes for ripped jeans. Give me a break, guys. 6 weeks left of school and you want to freak out now?

iDk. I am pmsing, i think. If i snap at you in the next few days...disregard it. Because its technically not my fault.

Thats my speel on hatred of school..

Graduation. Its gonna be b-e-a-utiful.

{Rascal Flatts tonight. Hopefully I'll have a lot of fun. Hopefully.}

let God arise. Our God reigns now and forever.

Jesus.

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:05:09 GMT

So.
:D
Megan Wood has fallen in love.
Yeahhh.
Its pretty insane, I agree.
But its happening.

God has been amazing to me lately.
My sugar has been pretty manageable.
I've been feeling pretty good.
God is amazing.
AmAzInG.

I'm still not sure whats gonna happen college wise.
Or anything like that.
But I know that God is going to handle it.
He won't leave me out to dry.
He'll be there.
Through it all.

So yeah. Thats my life.
Right now.

Lord empty me.

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 19:45:05 GMT

So i can be - filled with you.

oh wow.
life.
is.
so.
undescribable.

the song of the situation.

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 22:17:59 GMT

You need a friend
I'll be around
Don't let this end
before I see you again
What can I say to convince you to change your mind?..Believe..

I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body be free, I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna love you more than anyone

Look in my eyes
What do you see
Not just the color
Look inside of me
Tell me your need and I will try
I will try

Free for you whenever you need
We'll be free together baby, free together baby

I'm gonna love you more than anyone

a good day.

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 23:44:52 GMT

Dude.
I got flowers.
A bouquet of pinkish white roses.
And a single red rose.
And a card.
:]

A day late, yes.

But hey. He did good.

I'll edit later dudes.

Muah.

mmm.peace.

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:54:15 GMT

Paige Baker.
Made me go to Dnow this weekend.

And im so-freaking-glad.

I loved it. It was pretty much exactly what i needed.
I laughed. A lot. I was hyper. I was peaceful.
I was surrounded by people who love Jesus in an amazing way.

Seeing 18/19 year old guys praise God at the top of their voices.
Yeah. Thats what life is about.
I dont even feel like i was worthy to be there.
But im so so so so so glad that i went.

A fever you cant sweat out.

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:19:22 GMT

Has it been a month yet?
No?

This-is-hard.
This-hurts.

life is not what i thought

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:40:36 GMT

still im singing spirit take me up in arms with you.

If you dont know whats going on.
You dont count.
I mean you count in thebig scheme.
But this doesnt apply to you.
:] i mean that in the nicest way possible.

i have a need.
its retarded.
and comes with a "sure-to-fail" sticker.
but i have it.

i have a need to save people. and paige was right. thats God's job. and hes gonna take me right off my pedestal and take it back.

he can do this. i can do this. this requires more strength than i think i have. im not as strong as i thought i was. i fall easy. just as easy as the girls that im disgusted with. but this is real. this is absolutely part of life right now. im addicted to this situation. addicted. and im scared that im never gonna get out. but as of right now. its nice to feel needed. its nice to be a part of something bigger than myself. it-is-scary.

paige, keyle, emily. i love you. youve been there for me more this weekend than i think ive ever been there for you. and im sorry. graduation comes and were gonna have to split our ways. but yall are stuck with me. theres no way im ever gonna just forget about yall or let yall get off easily. :] t-h-a-n-k-y-o-u.

i am not who i thought i was.
still im singing spirit take me up in arms with you.
see im not copping out.
when youre raising the dead in me.--switchfoot

and this where we want to be heard.

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 05:03:01 GMT

today.

Was not a bad day. I kinda did work in all my classes minus Government. But we didnt have to do work in there.
I kinda like being a teacher's aide for spanish 1. It makes me feel usefull. Right now im contemplating whether or not usefull has one or two L's. Im losing my ability to spell. Its ridiculous.

My boyfriend brought me my fav chips and a diet coke today.
Just because. No reason at all except he wanted a reason to see me for a few minutes.
The ever-increasing amount of affection i have for this particular boy scares the crap out of me.
I called him during lunch just to hear his voice. And i even told him that.
"Gag me" is what keyle said and i agree. haha. "Did i just hear that come out of the mouth of MEGAN WOOD?"
Yeah you did.

I love my spanish class. Its gonna be the thing i miss the most after the G word.
Which i keep bringing up to my mom along with my quickly upcoming birthday.
And shes tenses up and gets all quiet and says im stressing her out...
That frustrated me a little today. And everyday.

Go look up "Seasons" and "Screamer" by Good Charlotte.
Trust me. Theyre good. Theyre from the first cd. I wouldnt steer you wrong

I think im going to try to do the internship at The Tribune.
eek. im scurred.
I also think im gonna try to work at the ballpark with Kiersten.
Which should be a blast and an easy way to make moneysss.
i just gotta steer clear the cheese sticks and nachos.
*mouth waters*

subway tomorrow with mis chickas. :]
girl talk over good food that i cant afford.
hahaha. it works.

i need church. im not exactly straying the path.
but i losing touch. :/ which is the last thing i want to do right now.

i could write in this all night.
but no one would read it all.
so i guess ill finish up.
night night ljers.

Dont forget to buckle when you fall beneath the pressure of the seconds when your life became a screamer. -GC.

Cuz you had a bad day.

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 22:23:48 GMT

Today:
SUCKED.

Pretty massively.
Like. Idk.
School infuriates me.
Its like .. nobody thinks.
Nooobbooddyyy.

Lets freak out over piercings and jeans and hoods and schedules and blahblahblahblah.
Graduation.
Its gonna be a beautiful thing.

When the world comes crashing down.

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 02:16:27 GMT

So.
I finally understand the Relient K song "Who I am Hates Who Ive Been".
I always thought that it meant that when we become a christain we begin to hate our past.
Who we are now hates who we used to be.

But now I'm beginning to think that it means something else.
I'm thinking that it means that who you are hates the things that youve been doing.
Who you really are hates who you've been lately.

So yeah.
I really really really understand that right now.

Sour cream and onion chips.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:49:11 GMT

Will someone please explain to me why i cant download a picture on this stupid thing?
ive tried making it smaller on photobucket.
someone just.
help megan help you.
or..help herself.

So. Id like to say that this week has sucked massively. I'm like. Stressed. My mom asked me today "Why do your eyes look sad?".

I hate school. It makes my eyes look sad! haha. This should not be allowed as i kinda like my eyes.
Plus i think i failed a spanish test today. Thats always fun.

Also, id really like to know what the heck im gonna do after i graduate. As i have...zero plans what-so-ever.

Apartment? Yeah i have no job.

College? Yeah idk where to even start.

Then there's the whole scholarship issue. Haven't even applied for one. Fasfa? Cant finish it without a W2.

Yay for Megan. IM-SO-TIRED.

This weekend should be fun.
Kiersten might come spend the night.
And Amber (Richard's little sister) and Jordan Bass (her bff--tinnins daughter) are coming over for girl night.
Which means i should probably be cleaning my room. haha. woo.
And maybe a carnival with Amber and Richard on a cold Janurary day?
Anybody wanna go to the woodlands mall this weekend? i need to go get make up.

Keyle needs to get un-sick. Everyone needs to get un-sick. It stresses me out.
Calling my dady to bring me home chips and a diet coke.
Im becoming addicted.

:] pleasant surprises

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:00:28 GMT

im not really freaking out.
which im actually amazed at.
because normally...i would be totally losing it by now.

ive got about a million and two things going on.
and.
im not completely flipping out.

im exhausted.
im giving up on school.
but.
for some reason.
its okay.

idk.
pagina esta amazingo.
shes kinda the only person who really knows how it goes.
:]

Shes looking good tonight.

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 15:41:13 GMT

i love girls night out.
i really dont know why i dont have it more often.

this weekend hadnt been exactly great for me until then.
boys...make me angry/sad/happy/stupid.

But hopefully everything is a-ok.

27 Dresses is amazing. Absolutely.
"Dont you have any needs?"
"No im Jesus"
hahahahahaahaha.

I love it. What was better was that Paige had to ask this couple--who was sprawled out on about 4 chairs--to move so we could all sit together. Yet we still ended up squished into 2 seats? Hahahaha It was pretty amazing.

Today? I'm gonna chill out at the house. Probably finish all my homework.
See my boyfriend tonight.
And hopefully not get ditched...again...
Urgh. Why do I do this to myself?
(*He smiles*)
"Oh yeah..."